Living with Depression

Living with depression is hard. A couple years ago I started the pills, because i couldn't get feeling better on my own. Many doctors and psychiatrists later I still am having problems with my depression. This winter is going to be bad on my depression. I can already feel my depression meds not working a miracle and making me somewhat unhappy. I got depressed when my mom had to go to work full-time while my dad sits on his butt due to a bum knee or so he says. He could get a job at Wal-Mart after being fired for not enoough sales and his age at the car lot he worked at for three years. I sympathize with him though as I have arthritic pain too, but I have an excuse too. I have a full disability that is permanent lifelong disability. He doesn't have one. He just has a temporary one. I am depressed because I can't stop thinking with my mom's health failing like it has been this past couple years. I feel she shouldn't bear the brunt of the bills. My dad is now collecting social security sitting on his butt so to speak. He has earned his social security, but i am depressed about it. can't get past it. As you can tell.

It is a quirk of mine to speak my mind as being Norwergian and German is bad enough. I have to have a speak my mind fetish. Weirdness runs amuk in me as my depression hits zinith. Hoping this winter I will be out of the hospital with no pain in my body is depressing me too as I need help on so many levels. Depression being number one and pain number two. I will probably help my depression and move south for good this winter. Hoping and praying can only go so far with my depression. Me being a Christian one has to think of others before my own needs such as my staff who help me on a daily basis, My mom who needs my emotional support such as it is, and my other family who loves me here and needs me too.

Well onto suppressing another cry fest in the making, Silly distractions is what I need to make my day today. Well wish me good luck with that I will need it.

Tanya

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