Brake pads, broken bolt, blubbering, and bandaids

OKay so Seth figured out that we need new pads and a new rotor on the one side. So we get the parts. Now the bolt for the caliper is stripped from him and his friend trying to get it off. We go buy this special tool or whatever that doesn't work. So now we have to see if a shop could take he bolt off for us, and its the weekend, of course. Savanna skinned her knee today, and when I was putting on her pajamas I noticed that it was really red. So I wiped it with an antiseptic towelette and put cream and bandaids on it and shes been screaming ever since. Sometimes I feel like I am going to lose my mind when she cries like that. The whinning and crying, when for no reason and excessively, makes me so frustrated. I feel like I can't hear anything and can't focus on anything else. Then of course Seth pins her fit on me because I put the cream and stuff on her, I am the bad guy for tending to her wound. Whatever. Like thats what I need at that moment of stress, to be told that her over the top fit is a direct reaction to what I had did. I was being a good mom by preventing infection and cleaning her cut, or I guess at least I felt like I was being a good mom in doing so. Would it have been better to let it go and get infected, would that have been a better decision. Either way, sometimes I just have too much stress on my plate to cope with her fits. I get frustrated with it very easy. I am super pregnant and work everyday. My feet hurt, I am tired and sometimes I just want to relax or go to the bathroom by myself without a melt down from a toddler. I know she is just doing her job as a toddler, and it is not her fault I have these problems, but it is still hard for me to deal with at times, especially when my main support person is not on my side. I am probably just a normal mom for my age, but sometimes I feel like I fail all of the time and she deserves so much better. Then theres that other part of me that knows that I am the best mom I can be and Savanna is very lucky in many ways, and that her life is good not inspite of me but because of me. I have realized that there is just always something to worry about, something to feel negative about....but there is also always something to treasure, something to appreciate, and something to celebrate.

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