How Can You Possibly Explain This To Your Kids

This post is going to be a bit deeper than usual.  I just got back from a memorial assembly at my children's elementary school.  I live in Hillsboro, OR and last week a father shot his two young children and then himself at a local nature reserve.  The boy was a second grader at our school.  I guess the father was having a tough time, in the middle of a divorce and other problems.  Somehow, he thought this was the best way to "take care of his children".  The mother sent the children to school and never saw them alive again.  My heart is breaking for the whole situation.  This comes on the heels of news last week that a mother threw her two children off the Sellwood Bridge, in nearby Portland.  Only one survived.

I know that these stories are becoming all too common throughout communities in the U.S., perhaps because of the increasing financial pressures here.  And there are tragedies in the world that are far far worse: war, political unrest, the list goes on.  But I don't live there and, although I care about the struggles of people across our planet, I have to be a mother and member of my own community first.  And I don't know what to say to my own children, that won't scare them.  

I have utmost respect for our principal and teachers, who dealt with a very tough situation with understanding and compassion.  Elementary school age children are too young to have to deal with such horror.  I looked out at the sea of young bright faces, especially the first graders, and tried to imagine how anyone could snuff such potential in a selfish and desparate act.  And I wonder what I can do to prevent these tragedies.  Of course, there is not much I can do directly.  But indirectly, there is something we can all do.

This family, or the countless other families that dot the headlines regularly, were part of a network of extended family, friends, co-workers and neighbors.  Someone must have had concerns about the mounting pressures but maybe didn't want to bring it up.  It is embarassing for grown-ups to accept help, or a sympathetic ear, or a couple hours of child care.  So if you see someone suffering in your community, see what you can do to give them the support they need, before it is too late.  It might bruise their pride a little bit, but it also might be the connection that they need to make it through.

I hope everyone will take this opportunity to hug their children, or grandchildren tight. I know that is what I am going to do.

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