Back when I was just spending, spending and more spending, I kept telling myself that I could buy something because I was worth it, and because it would make me happy.

Now I have a home full of clutter, and a body that carries around a lot of clutter in the form of extra weight. All because I deemed myself worth of things, stuff, bad food, everything that is clutter now.

Realizing this made me sad, but then it hit me, I had totally misdefined "I am worth it". Through this misdefinition I deemed myself worthy of stuff, not worthy of what really matters.

Worth is not about things, it is not about two mcD meals a week, it is about deeming yourself good enough for what really matters, like health, love and happiness.

And it is about knowing you are worthy to live in a home with the room to grow, and where you can express yourself as you are.

"I am worth it" is now about spending energy on myself, on spending time with me, getting to know me, and finding out what I am truly worthy of. 

So... what are you worthy of?

2 Comments | Post Feedback

This is the question that goes through my mind every time I draw my wallet to pay for something now.

I used to spend money without thinking. Just spent it on things I needed (now I know I thought I needed them), and had a panic attack when bills were piling up. I managed to pay them every time, and then started the whole circle again.

And then I started a thrifty life. I asked myself the question every time I wanted to spend money on something. Oh, with essentials it is easy. I pay for it, but how about my interests, or, to narrow it down to my favorite way to spend money: on books.

This week I walked through a bookstore, and picked up a fantasy novel by a new writer. Read the back, read the blurbs, and was hooked. I walked to the register, and took my place in line. Then I had the presence of mind to ask myself: Why do I want to spend 20 euro's on this book?

I stepped aside, and looked at the book again. I realized that spending money on some books it is easy. If it is a book of one of my favorite writers, I buy it in principle. He or she has to survive too, and besides, I would want people to buy my books whenever I get one published. But for others, those writers who still fight to be listed in my top five of favorite writers, it is the library.

Changing my mindset by asking myself the question, is very hard to do, but it is a start of making myself conscious of the changes I am making in my life.

And now, every time I feel the urge to spend, spend, spend, there is always a little voice, getting louder every time I ask myself the question. Why do I want to spend money on this?

It is a line that keeps me from taking a spot in line behind the register. It is a line that helps me to morph from a spender into someone who is thrifty.

1 Comments | Post Feedback